Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Thu February 09, 2012

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Guy)		Angry dad de-lifes couple for defriending his daughter on Facebook (charlotte.cbslocal.com)	(15)
		Mexico wants to be less decapitatey, more touristy (itineraries.msnbc.msn.com)	(28)
		Family heartbroken after thieves steal baby's ashes from suburban home. Suspect described as female, 35-40, possibly carrying a piano (news.com.au)	(55)
(Some Guy)		Los Angeles may fine you $1,000 if you throw any object besides a beach ball or volleyball on a beach without a permit. Feel free to throw an objectless fit at no cost, however (losangeles.cbslocal.com)	(32)
		Sometimes you get bored at work. Sometimes you view porn. Protip: Don't view it in the middle of a rape trial when you're the court clerk (nbcbayarea.com)	(20)
		Mein Kampfy shorts (thesun.co.uk)	(50)
(Bergen Record)		Protip: Dude, you're supposed to wait until you actually assume your teaching job before making sexytime chat with a twelve-year-old girl (northjersey.com)	(27)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 353: "Apples vs. Oranges 2: The Rematch." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)	(75)

Wed February 08, 2012

(IEEE Spectrum)	(Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly) (spectrum.ieee.org)	(20)
	The mail never stops, Jerry (msnbc.msn.com)	(83)
	Vulcans dealing with Pon Farr, Microsoft defenestrating 200 workers, and Don Cornelius starting off Black History Month with a bang: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/29 - 2/4 (fark.com)	(8)
	Man barricades himself in apartment after concluding that someone stole and ate his chicken meal (blog.sfgate.com)	(32)
	From the "Why Haven't They Been Doing That All Along?" files: Congress introduces legislation to limit levels of lead and arsenic in fruit juice. Next up - Bringing down the levels of broken glass in breakfast cereal (consumerist.com)	(90)
	'Rasputin was my neighbor' and other true tales of time travel (npr.org)	(71)
	Chicago learns the hard way that elementary school children can sneak gang symbols into contest artwork just like adults can (chicagotribune.com)	(111)
	Lots of rainbows in Seattle today as WA becomes the first state to pass marriage equality by popular vote (komonews.com)	(478)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this pensive person (media.mike.nmspace.net)	(30)
	Why XXXXX mothers are superior. Never has there been a more misleading headline (stltoday.com)	(70)
(Some Guy)	Judge on the other side of the gavel after dismissing wife's and friends' tickets (fox17online.com)	(35)
	Ok, for the last time, the 7-year-old girls in Walmart are NOT free samples. Please make a note of it (ajc.com)	(63)
	Scientists discover a primate with a shriek that more ear-piercing than your sister-in-law's (mnn.com)	(31)
(q13fox.com)	I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament (q13fox.com)	(90)
	Woman arrested two consecutive mornings by the same cop for drunk driving. "This can't happen again" she yelled at the cop as it was.... happening again (readingeagle.com)	(62)
	You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed (nbcbayarea.com)	(56)
(Beauty and Style)	Men are really stupid and need to be told what to carry by a fashion editor. For example, did you know that "pens are convenient for noting a phone number"? (beautyandstyle.com)	(234)
	TV anchor learns how not to pet a dog (thedenverchannel.com)	(251)
(wptv.com)	"You got me red-handed," bank robber actually tells officer after dye packs explode all over his getaway car (wptv.com)	(27)
(Some elLf)	Photoshop this ethereal stairway (ellf.ru)	(32)
	Indonesian train officials have an innovative new way of keeping 'rail surfers' off the roofs of their trains: swat them with brooms drenched in putrid smelly goop (telegraph.co.uk)	(169)
	Ready to inhale your caffeine instead of drink it? (wxyz.com)	(168)
	How many officers does it take to beat the fark out of a man in insulin shock? In Nevada, the answer is 7 or more (dailymail.co.uk)	(397)
	Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons (orlandosentinel.com)	(25)
	When your friend gives you a ride to work instead of your girlfriend, does your girlfriend a) say you made her look bad and try to run you over in an alley b) hit you with a jack c) burn your wardrobe d) all of the above. With luscious mug shot (blogs.tcpalm.com)	(96)
	Twitter troll learns the hard way that you shouldn't call the Queen of England a "benefits scrounger" if you're on the public payroll yourself (express.co.uk)	(101)
	Man returns to house to find squatters with drugs, grenades, and since this is Florida and not New York, a pig (local10.com)	(35)
	Wolfman family in India seeks help for their rare genetic affliction, hopes to enlist the aid of Tom Cruise, who has decades of experience dealing with beards (dailymail.co.uk)	(82)
	Problem: 87 percent of your schools are failing by your own criteria. Solution: Make scoring 75 percent deserving of an A rating. There, all fixed (krqe.com)	(102)
	Another Florida college is making headlines for hazing, and this time it's a fraternity at the University of Florida that's in the hot seat (firstcoastnews.com)	(86)
(nbc philadelphia)	Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer (nbcphiladelphia.com)	(131)
	Attention whoring makes strange bedfellows: Al Sharpton comes out for gay marriage (washingtonpost.com)	(47)
	Maximum Trolling - Man claims he actually invented the internet and sues Google, Youtube, Yahoo and Amazon for using his invention (wired.com)	(99)
(Some Guy)	Old and busted: dwarf tossing -- New Hotness: Baby as dumbbell (wbtv.com)	(29)
	American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo? (washingtonpost.com)	(413)
	President Obama helps launch a marshmallow across the State Dining Room. SCIENCE (youtube.com)	(129)
	Man punched stranger because she 'looked at him funny'. Like funny in a comical way? Were there clowns behind her? (chicagotribune.com)	(51)
(Some Guy)	If you ever wanted the pleasure of having the measles AND you were at the Super Bowl village last Friday, I have some good news for you (fox59.com)	(57)
	Air Marshals gone wild--what really goes on behind the scenes (abcnews.go.com)	(48)
(wistv.com)	Bank of America has achieved the pinnacle of capitalism. They can repossess your property, foreclose on your home, and now they can kill you without repercussion. Bow to your corporate overlords and pay tribute so that they may let you live (wistv.com)	(111)
	RIAA CEO, in a thoughtful op-ed on SOPA opponents, fairly points out that they were probably all criminals (nytimes.com)	(584)
	1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage (haaretz.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this already strange chair and person into something, well, stranger (contemporist.com)	(21)
	Santorum surges with surprise threesome (washingtonpost.com)	(153)
(Some Guy)	Director of the TN agency charged with eradicating marijuana has decided that the most effective form of eradication is to just smoke it all herself (wsmv.com)	(84)
(The Hindu)	TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped (thehindu.com)	(59)
	If at the age of 15, you knew what you know now, how do you think things would have turned out? (fark.com)	(381)
	Today's sexy teacher likes drinking, swearing and 'pulling black man' (w/pic) (thesun.co.uk)	(67)
	Old & busted: drunk driving. New hotness: SUPER DRUNK DRIVING (wxyz.com)	(97)